Food, learning and cultural exchange bind families

Helping immigrant family learn English leads to lasting friendship

By Nicole Morales
The Portland Upside
May 2009

Left to Right: Phallon Oun, Rob Bednark, Sara Bednark, Thyda Oun, Seiha Oun, and Bophar Sie reminisce in the Oun family’s Cornelius home. (Photo by Nicole Morales)

Chicken feet!” Sara Bednark laughs as she recalls sharing a meal with the Oun family at a restaurant in Chinatown, Portland. “Of course I tried them, we hadn’t known each other very long and I didn’t want to be rude.”

Bophar Sie gestures with a down-faced palm scurrying through the air. Sara winces. We all laugh sitting around a small coffee table in the Oun’s living room. It’s been two years since the Ouns and Bednarks last saw each other, though their smiles make it feel like it was just yesterday.

I met with the Oun and Bednark families on a drippy Sunday afternoon in Cornelius to talk about how they met 12 years ago. At that time Rob and Sara Bednark, founders of The Portland Upside, were looking for a way to get involved in their new local community after moving from Minnesota to Portland. Nearby, Phallon Oun was in search of an English conversation partner. He and his wife, Bophar Sie, had just emigrated from Phnom Penh, Cambodia, with their two children, Thyda, 9, and Seiha, 7.

“Everything was new,” Phallon says. Although he was financially able to support his family in Cambodia’s capital, the civil unrest and societal instability were too much to bear—it was safer in the United States. Phallon left behind a reputable job, a familiar lifestyle, loved ones, and a language when he and his wife made the decision to immigrate to the United States.

“I spoke no English,” recalls Phallon. That was up until he met Rob through the Oregon Literacy Council, a program that then matched up volunteer native English speakers with individuals in need of English as a Second Language (ESL) services. Phallon wanted ESL lessons for himself and his family.

“He asked me right away if I could help his family, too,” Rob says. “That’s when I asked Sara to help.” What was supposed to be a once a week volunteer opportunity for Rob quickly evolved into a full-fledged family affair.

Soon enough Rob and Sara offered to pick up Phallon, Bophar, Thyda, and Seiha for the ESL sessions. When the lessons were finished, Rob and Sara would take the Ouns back home. “We didn’t have a car,” Phallon says.

Yet it wasn’t all work and no play. Thyda chimes in, “We went to the zoo! And the Rose Parade.”
Sara adds, “We also took a day trip to Vancouver, B.C.”

Bophar gives a thankful smile when Sara talks about the time they all went to a supermarket to learn the English names of different foods.

The Ouns relied on Rob and Sara a lot. In addition to ESL sessions and day trips, Rob and Sara were also available when one of the Ouns had an English question or needed help to fill out school, health, or employer related forms.

It wasn’t all one-sided. “They fed us,” Sara says, emphasizing, “All the time.”

Rob and Sara had full stomachs and, undoubtedly, a complete sense of awe toward the Ouns. The odds were against this family of four from the very beginning. And yet, Phallon, Bophar, Thyda, and Seiha slowly began to thrive in their community.

“It’s amazing,” Sara says. “All they’ve done and accomplished. I could never have done what they did.”

Seiha, now 19, is a first year architectural student at Portland State University (PSU). He wants to design green commercial buildings. Thyda, 21, is on the dental hygiene program track at Portland Community College (PCC). She also works two part-time jobs. Bophar recently completed a pharmacy technician program.

Yet, she proudly notes that her children and their education are her number one priority, “I take Seiha to PSU everyday so he can get to his classes on time.”

As for Phallon Oun, the past 12 years have been a rewarding challenge. From his initial encounter with Rob and the family’s language sessions to his subsequent start as a machine operator during the day and a PCC student at night, Phallon persisted.

“I didn’t see my father much,” Seiha recalls. “He’d already be gone when I got up for school and come home after I’d gone to bed.”

Despite the time away from home, Phallon continued to work and study. From 1998 to 1999 he managed to contribute 500 labor hours to Habitat for Humanity to help purchase his family’s first Oregon home in 2000. Four years later, he earned a degree from PCC’s machine manufacturing program.

Today Phallon is a machinist who assists in the design and manufacture of orthopedic implants at Acumed. It was a struggle to balance family, work, and classes, but Bophar says she never doubted her husband’s devotion to their family.

I asked Thyda if she remembers what it was like adjusting to life in the United States during those first few years. “I know it was a struggle for my parents,” she says teary-eyed, “My parents have done so much for us.”

In fact, all of them have done so much to contribute to their family’s well being. This inspires people such as the Bednarks, who are pursuing their dream to bring uplifting stories to our community in hopes of inspiring others to appreciate the good in life.

I asked the Ouns to think of a few positive words that define their relationship with Sara and Rob. “Family” was the word of choice for Phallon, Bophar, Thyda, and Seiha. The countless family portraits on their walls and framed pictures of caps and gowns sitting along the tops of shelves and on end tables show the significance of the word for the Ouns. “Family” is what carried the Ouns through the past 12 years.

Rob agrees and adds that their relationship with the Ouns is a gift. Having sat with the two families to talk about how they met 12 years ago, I certainly agree. It is a gift, with or without the chicken feet.

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Nicole Morales strives to connect people via multicultural education and writing. She teaches ESL at a private university outside of Portland and welcomes your inquiries at nmorales.writes@gmail.com