The kindness game

By Galen Pearl
The Portland Upside
April 2010

Photo by Jozelin Garcia

“Life is short, and we have but little time to gladden the hearts of those who travel this way with us. Oh, be swift to love. Make haste to be kind.”

–Henri Frederic Amiel

Sometimes my daughter Mia, like most any high school kid, is focused on herself. A while back, I thought it might do her some good to think outside of her own life. So I came up with a game.

Each day we compete to see who can do the most nice things for other people. It could be something as simple as smiling at someone as you pass by, or saying something encouraging. If you do something nice for someone in your family, you get double points, because we often overlook those closest to us. At the end of the day we compare notes to see who won.

Playing the game is fun. I go through my day a little differently when I am actively seeking opportunities to be kind. I catch myself smiling more, greeting people, listening more attentively, offering to help a little more quickly, finding something nice to say. I wrote out a compliment card for someone who helped me at the store. Mia ate lunch with a student from another country who was often isolated.

One day, Mia called me as she walked home from school to ask for directions to a certain address. When she got home she explained that she had seen a young woman looking distressed and crossed the street to ask if she needed help. The young woman was developmentally disabled and had gotten off at the wrong bus stop on her way home. She was disoriented and couldn’t figure out how to get home.

After I gave Mia directions over the phone, she walked the young woman all the way home, even though it was quite a bit out of her way. I could see that Mia felt compassion for this young woman and was pleased to be able to help her. Because I have two sons, Mia’s brothers, with autism, her kindness was especially meaningful. I would like to believe that someone would do the same for them if they were lost. When she told me the story, I readily conceded the game for that day, for the whole week.

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Galen Pearl has lived in Portland for 20 years. She is developing a program to help form habits to grow a joyful spirit. You can learn more about it on her blog
10stepstofindingyourhappyplace.blogspot.com or contact her at galenpearl@gmail.com